To Rathaus civil servants in Siegen Germany

I doubted several times for writing it to the public, but today I could not hold it back anymore. Upon receiving a letter from Rathaus (city hall) Siegen, I know that I need to change my student residential status to job seeker status. Normally in Germany, student could get a 18 months jobseeker status. However, my passport is valid for about 16 months for now. So I called the Rathaus civil servant who signed the letter to me, here, pay attention, my question was only this — “do I need to renew my passport in order to get 18 months job seeker status, since my passport expires in 16 months?” In other words, I wanted to know whether issuing the job seeker status is in compaliance with the valid dates of passport, or say, whether it is necessary to renew my passport. 

Instead of answering directly “yes, it is according to your passport valid dates, so if you want 18 months, please renew your passport”, she said “If you don’t find a job in 16 months, I don’t think you could find a job in another two more months!”

Shame on me, I repeatedly said I understood what she meant, meaning, from her humiliating answer, I understood that it is according to my passport valid date. How simple could an answer be? And how low could I position myself in this situation? No one wants to have a word with them. But I wonder why should she stand on the moral high ground and judging people, making unnecessary judgements towards a situation that no one could literally tell? Who gave her the power? People?

I know it’s civil servants’ daily fun. When we complain about tea sipping, newspaper reading civil servants in China, in the Kafkasque castle sitting the same people, waiting to tell you how worthless and pathetic you are to be in a place that ranks high in all index world wide. 

This is not the first time, neither the last time I will come across this. In Rathaus, foreigners keep heads low, sucking on whatever they could give. Certainly, she doesn’t believe on the two months miracle.

But is it possible to ask these civil servants to open a tiny bit their mind? Not me, or any students, or any refugees deserve this. My wish to have a more improved situation is always there, alas, it’s not coming yet. It is disappointed to hear these words from civil servants, or civil serpents.

Perhaps, I’m writing it out of anger, out of revenge. It’s normal emotions echoing the “two month miracle” issue. Still, does it make her feel better for judging me not finding a job? I assume it does, otherwise, what kind of sick job disease is this. 

Proud of myself being polite from beginning to the end in the phone call. God bless the hollow statement “all people are created equal”. 


After Watching I AM. Shimon Peres

He was so wise and humorous. Fortunately to watch this documentary, well done. So many words, hard to compose, but every time hearing Mr. Shimon Peres, there are inspirations and continuous life spirit. It will probably continue.

This documentary is successful to tell us, each one of us came to this world with a mission. A mission could be large as a statesman serving his country, a mission could also be as trivia as finding the simplest happiness while sitting under a tree alongside with a wild flower.

Nowadays, people with the smallest ego could brag their ambitions as shallow as they just want to be famous and remembered by, without knowing that life is and will always be a myth, not all the smallest achievement in people’s lives could be interpreted as a potential to change the world. No! Start to reflect on oneself, start to experience and be objective.

From the beginning, and maybe even mid-way of the life, we may still not know what is the mission of our life, but gradually we will. We could walk with the mission until the end, or could choose not to notice and get by. Once I was told, she believes that everyone comes to this world in order to learn lessons. Simple. Just to learn lessons. But how passive it is! How defensive it is. Perhaps in life, there are more things we could encounter rather than lessons, apparently, we could sense, feel, see, appreciate and live!

There is mission, then, there will be sacrifice. People hardly have both. The documentary also reveals Peres and his wife Sonia’s private life. Sonia decided not to accompany him to live in the President Residence as well as been buried separately. Surely, Peres certainly confirmed love and faith, but also, more importantly, there is the free choice. As a free person, people choose over their own free wills. How fantastic!

The documentary also reveals political events from certain point of view, as an always hot-debated issue, Middle East, Israel and Palestine can hardly be decided over a plain simple sentence. The focus is not the political correctness in a controversial region, it is the person, who remained in the politics, won all the medals of the world, read hours per day, kept working until the last moment of his life. Maybe, that could be the lesson we learn.

Check out “I Am. Shimon Peres” on Netflix

Only If God Could

Taught me a lesson I should’ve known all alone: what you do to children matters, and they might never forget.

God Help the Child by Toni Morrison

I used a completely new way to start Toni Morrison. It’s my first Toni Morrison, but certainly not the last one. The form is an audio book in trial period narrated by Toni Morrison herself, unabridged.

Listening to the story unfolding with Toni Morrison’s narrator is like walking in a labyrinth with grassed walls in a huge garden, in colonial time with African slaves. Trying to figure out the plot, one could be so focused in her narrating, with weathered and aged voice, it feels like a grandma telling you life experience. Wonderful. Possibly, the structure of the book wasn’t designed for listeners, but the result of listening to the book is surprisingly positive.

Judging by the title, people ask whether it is for children to read, well, no. As we all tried to deceive children with some whitewashed facts and realities, in this book, they are going to encounter the “nicest guy in the world” who “wouldn’t kill a fly” be a child molester and serial killer. That’s not hard, you know, human mind, bang, one can be sick. But hard on the kids. We all once were kids, asking parents who are the good guys and who are the bad guys in a movie, knowing everything should be black or white, well, let me introduce you the color called “grey”, said “adult society”.

Kids raped with the help of their prostitute mother by her clients, running away trying to survive on the street, I could feel the clash and conflict of color black and white, as the most visual colours well as the representative of what is true and what is false. Is there something like that?

The funny thing is, we all try to hide the dirty part of the society from our kids, wanting them to never enter the stage, needless to say to play a role, or never walking out of the bubble we created for them. As they grow up, they should find out themselves? Is it more hurting? But when they have the power and resilience to endure and surpass the shock, parents will always be proud of them. What if they won’t? Shame? Scorn? That’s their problems? Hard to know. But I’d venture to believe, truth is always welcomed.